It was June of 2015 and we were sitting with my mom at Autumn Leaves celebrating my dad’s 79th birthday and Father’s Day. I bought him this shirt with the word GENIUS on it. I bought it for several reasons. First off, I do believe my dad was a genius. He was one of the smartest people I knew. Second, he loved chemistry and since the word was written out with symbols from the periodic table, I thought it was a perfect choice. He did not see it the same way. He told me that it was embarrassing. He said that he was not all that smart and it would be like boasting about something that was not true.
My dad refused to wear the shirt. It hung in his closet. Numerous times, I would come over on a Sunday to take him out for dinner and ask him to please wear it. He would decline. I started to say that if he didn’t wear it while he was alive, I was going to bury him in it. November 19, 2016, he died and that day I told him I was going to keep my promise and bury him in his GENIUS shirt. I did. I know it went against traditional methods, but my dad was far from a traditionalist.
I find it amazing how different perceptions can be from one person to another. I saw a man who published thousands of articles, wrote a book, developed a mathematical system for astrology that is used still today, etc. He saw a simple man with not a lot to share. Why? Why are we so unkind to ourselves? Why do we diminish our capabilities? Are we that afraid of owning what truly is ours?
I have clients tell me that saying good things about themselves does not make sense as they are not true. When I challenge the negative they are saying they must admit those are not true either. So, if you are going to believe untrue things about yourself, why not believe the good stuff? You are not doing anyone a favor or helping yourself in any way by talking trash about yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be compassionate to yourself. Love yourself. You will be amazed at how good it really feels.
Until next time…
Change. Discover. Transform.
Carla Carter, Ed.D., LCPC, CMPC, EMDR Certified