Social Self

The Social Self includes two components: friendship and love. Friendship and love can be conceived of as existing on a continuum and, as a consequence, are not clearly distinguishable in practice. Sexual intimacy is sometimes thought to be a distinction between love and friendship but no such distinction seems appropriate as physical attraction and true love can sometimes (or often) have little in common. What is clear, however, is that friendships and intimate relationships do enhance the quality and length of one’s life. Isolation, alienation, and separation from others generally are associated with all manner of poor health conditions and greater susceptibility to premature death, while social support remains in multiple studies as the strongest identified predictor of positive mental health over the lifespan. The mainstay of this support is family, with healthier families providing the most positive sources of individual wellness. Importantly, healthy families can be either biological or families of choice.
Importantly, each of the components of the IS-WEL model interacts with all others to contribute to holistic functioning. Similarly, the contextual factors each have an influence or impact on the individual, and the individual affects his or her context. These interactions may be for better or for worse, individually and collectively.
The above information was taken from:
That’s nice but what does this theory mean to me?
A theory is only as good as it can understood and then APPLIED! If you can not apply a theory to your situation, in this case your life and the life of your family, then they theory is just that…something nice to know.
Social Self: The Social Self includes two components: friendship and love.
Do you purposely make time to be with your friends? Do you and your spouse have a date night each week? Do you allow yourself to intimate with others? Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable with others? Are your relationships built on the trust? Is there give and take from all parties in the relationship?
Action you can take:
•Pick a night of the week for date night. Date night is a night that you and your spouse have fun together. It is scared time. If other things come up, date night takes priority. On a date, you do not talk about the kids, issues at home, or upcoming repairs on the house. It is not a time to schedule and plan for the week. It is a time to talk while walking in the park or woods. It is a time to go out for dinner and/or see a movie. Date night should not involve other couples on a regular basis. It is a time for the two of you to reconnect and kindle that relationship.
•Find time to do things with friends. Having family orientated outings can be lots of fun for everyone. Make it a point to schedule them and not just talk about it. One group had a standing time…the third Saturday afternoon of each month. Everyone knew when it was well in advance of making other plans.

Until next time….
Change. Discover. Transform.
Carla Carter, Ed.D., LCPC, CMPC, EMDR Certified

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