You know that little voice that is in your head? Maybe it is in your gut. Regardless, are you listening? Seriously! We are not wandering around aimlessly without direction. If you are like most, you hear the voice but ignore it for a variety of reasons.
Recently I had been reading different things that has me reflecting back on a relationship that ended this year. It was devastating to have this almost 7-year relationship end so suddenly. At the time it was a shock that one day it was on and the next he was moving out of state and not looking back. I was so angry and hurt. I could not understand what was happening.
But lately I have been thinking I should not have been surprised at all. Actually, after about 2 years it mostly likely should have ended. But when my little voice was telling me that it was not working I screamed, “NO!” and did everything to fix it. The fix ended up being a bunch of band-aides. Sure, the relationship survived but never thrived after that. Every time it began to crack another band-aide was applied.
The worse part of the next 5 years was that deep down I knew it was broke and not able to be fixed yet I allowed my fear to take control and hold me hostage. I was so afraid that I held on for dear life. My grip was smothering. What was I afraid of? I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of never being loved again (which is funny because I was not being loved then). I was afraid that my heart could not withstand another heart break. This is not a way to live life.
Okay, why tell you of this? Well I know for a fact that I am not the only one who has held on too hard and too long. I know I am not the only one that held on out of fear. Why do we do this? It is a matter of scarcity. That feeling of not being good enough. But I am here to tell you are good enough. I know it is hard sometimes to hear the voice that affirms you when there are so many others out there telling you different. Everyone deserves to be loved, respected, and in a healthy relationship that is honoring.
So stop for a moment and listen…what are you hearing? When you do, there is such wonderful things on the other side.
Until next time….
Change. Discover. Transform.
Carla Carter, Ed.D., LCPC, CMPC, EMDR Certified